god in our own image.

I was reading the book "Reaching Out" by Henri Nouwen today, and came upon this.
It made me think of all that our God has been teaching me here at Antioch...

"Prayer is often considered a weakness, a support system, which is used when we can no longer help ourselves.
But this is only true when the God of our prayers is created in our own image and adapted to our own needs and
concerns. When, however, prayer makes us reach out to God, not on our own but on His terms, then prayer pulls
us away from self-preoccupations, encourages us to leave familiar ground, and challenges us to enter into a new
world which cannot be contained within the narrow boundaries of our mind or heart. Prayer, therefore, is a great
adventure because the God with whom we enter into a new relationship is greater than we are and defies all our
calculations and predictions. The movement from illusion to prayer is hard to make since it leads us from false
certainties to true uncertainties, from an easy support system to a risky surrender, and from the many "safe" gods
to the God whose love has no limits."


For the last two weeks, instead of a sermon, Ken has had more of a panel. Two mics on either side of the stage,ready for any questions from anyone in the church. It has been an incredible thing to be a part of. I took some notes the other week that had to do with this idea of who we have made God to be...

...we've created an image of God and when He doesn't fit as we want, we throw Him away. He "doesn't deliver"
what we want. This creates utilitarianism where we pick and choose what is "good" and reject what will bring us
pain. We think that this will bring us peace and harmony and make our lives peachy. We have this view of God
that He is a product and will give us the desires of our heart. This is America's version of God..."it's all about me."


My hope is that this will encourage you as it has me. Until now, my very own view of who God is has been something that I have created...habit, religion, a label, something I have been spoonfed since birth, "a weakness, a support system which is used when we can no longer help ourselves." I have loved my God with a "good face" and a pretty voice, but in my heart there was rarely a fire and I loved someone that I did not know. I look forward to knowing Him as I should, not in my own strength but in His. I am so thankful to God for the authenticity at Antioch, it is why I decided to do the internship, it is why I am here now, and it is why I want to stay...


I am a better woman because I am here...where God has called me to be.

this is it. this is as good as life gets.

September 1st...I can't believe it. The summer months are over and everyone is heading back to school. All of the interns have been back at home/school for about two weeks now. Needless to say, it has been a lot different without the seventeen of us in meetings, eating at a yummy BBQ, or being hardcore on one of our many adventures. I miss them all so very much but am excited about this next season of life...

I was baptized two Sundays ago. Definitely had an overflow of emotions and thoughts racing through my mind, but also felt so comforted and at peace with my decision...even in the newness of being away from home and those that I love. Brandon Reynolds (the Community and Discipleship Pastor) asked all of the interns to e-mail him what baptism means. This was my response...

To be baptized...

Is a proclamation of my faith...

Is stating that from this point on...my life is Gods...not my own...

Is a symbol of dying to myself and claiming a new, whole life in my God...

Is an opportunity to let others witness...in hope of accountability as a community...

I am so lucky to be here. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything in the world. It meant the world to me to be baptized by Justin and Ken with all of my friends there to love and support me. Every day I am amazed at how fortunate I am to be loved and cared for by such a wonderful family here in Bend.

Lord, may I never take this for granted.